Tuesday, September 14, 2004

Hetero Week Continues

Sedated by a midnight KFC and then a bowl of noodles, I feel able to write within the boundaries of blog acceptability.

Hetero week continues. Stopped in Ilford outside the Boots, my jaw dropped at the sight of a truly stunning young woman, in the chaperone company of probably her mother. Boots, mini skirt, beauty, a body to kill for, and none of that common Millenium Slut stuff.

And then, as I wasted the evening at my gay haunt in South London, the concept of sex with men was not ridiculous, or even pointless, but in fact as contemptible as a meal at cDonalds. I ended up chatting the two hours away with Leo the Bouncer from Cameroon. I had forgotten that I had chatted with him before. Having worked in that environment for 5 years, he empathised that he can't even be bothered with sex: it's mostly a turnoff for him.

Feeling pumped up and more hetero than I have done in the last year, I nearly had a fight with an asshole at the bar. But as a gay man, civility prevailed as well as the duty to keep my Bouncer friend's life easy, so I moved to the sidelines for ten minutes until Asshole left the bar.

Then it started pissing down with rain as I cycled home. I think it peaked my aggressive feelings to a point that I have not experienced since working in my gardening job last year. I wonder if when I'm feeling hetero, it's equivalent to when someone straight is feeling "gay". For a while I could see how a man could be trapped in this mental state for a lifetime, and with a lack of satisfactorily attractive women about, have to console himself with page 3 of The Sun. There certainly aren't enough good looking women around (oooPS! editor says, in the interests of World Peace, readers should be reminded that Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder).

Whatever... Mention to a gay friend that you've had some odd hetero urges, and you get recoiling "OOHs" and "AAAHs". It just horrifies them. The truly bisexual man, whom I could never claim to be, is the most maligned type of man in society. Everybody, straight or gay, men or women, wants to see someone who is Gay or Straight, but not both, and definitely not chopping and changing all the time. (oh dear, the chopping and changing bit is NO pun reference to transexual modification!).

OOH (recoil)! AAAH (recoil)!. KFC has done me. And if it ever will fail, there's always Page 3.

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