Sunday, May 23, 2004

James O'Brien LBC and Womb Substitutes

Today on his show, James was having one of THOSE mornings, the type where you wake up with a bear's head, or a hangover, or the fatigue of a cold. What's great is that he performs best under these stressed conditions. Thus completely lucid and unassailable, his show today was a tour de force.

Following Ken Livingstone's public condemnation of 4x4's (also known as the Chelsea Tractor, the category covers Jeeps, People-carriers, and SUVs), James completely bashed the selfish use of these gaz-guzzling monsters for Mommy's Urban Journeys.

Most significantly, he described them as WOMB SUBSTITUTEs! Oh dearie me, I died laughing! This of course is the female equivalent of the PENIS SUBSTITUTES which are driven by men, namely flash sports cars.

In other words, while men with small penises need fast cars to compensate, women with small wombs are needing 4x4's to augment their lacking fertility and wanting maternal instinct (this for example includes the too-posh-to-push-club)!

He then launched into an eloquent description of how society needs to stop its most selfish members from getting on top over everyone else. I wish I had a memory for verbatim quotes or at least a tape recording, because the best thing about him is that he puts across an idea more succinctly than anyone else.

James however does have one deep weakness which came to light today. It is common to many people in the verbally-intelligent professions of journalism, media, and politics. He doesn't really seem to understand money, or material resources, although he at least is aware of his ignorance in this area.

This was demonstrated by the other topic of his program today which focussed on the warning by the Council of Mortgage Lenders that interest rates will have to double to slow down the housing market. James betrayed his naivete in economic matters by only just catching on with the government's game. Theirs is the political trick of stealing credit for the "healthy" consumer economy while interest rates were low, but then to distance themselves from the Bank of England now that interest rates are on the rise.

The funny thing is that James himself, instead of a caller, gave the best indication of how successfully the government has been playing out this mass delusion. James said that we'll probably be told to blame "Eddie George" now that interest rates are going up.. BUT EDDIE GEORGE RETIRED ALMOST A YEAR AGO. This is a shining example of how little focus there has been by the popular media on the intrinsic shapers of the British economy, that James O'Brien is himself nearly a year behind the times.

How many times do you have to explain to people that they only need to read Anthony Hilton of the Evening Standard, or even Patience Wheatcroft of the Times, so that they can keep the money-grubbing Shylocks of London under control?

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